CRISIS: averted
So, today, I painted some masonry. I painted the masonry on the front of the house and it looks beautiful!
Then I went to paint the masonry on the back of the house. I locked the front door as I went through because I didn't want bad people coming in while I was tucked away behind the kitchen.
Because I had to scrub the brickwork with bleachy water before I could paint it, I shut the back door to keep the cat in the house. I didn't want him drinking the water and getting sick!
I painted one windowsill and by then the bleachy water had dried. So I thought, well, Bear is miaowing to come out, so I guess it's safe to open the door for him.
Of course, the back door operates via one key lock (unlocked) and one Yale lock (locked). There is no key for the Yale lock.
I'd locked myself out.
I was annoyed! Very, very annoyed. I considered my options while I painted the remaining windowsill (I needed time to think rationally, as I make very bad snap decisions).
1. My housemates were away until Monday night. So they couldn't let me in.
2. My phone was inside so no calling them for emergency favours (one housemate has not gone far and could have come back).
3. There is a locked gate on the entry passage to the back of my little terrace houses. The key for that is on my keyring (in the house). So I can't even get onto the main street.
4. Even if I could get round to the front, my keys are in the house. Can't get in the front door either.
5. The backdoor looks frail. It has a big window in it. I might be able to kick the door sufficiently to tear the Yale out of the wood, and just replace the lock the next day.
6. The backdoor has a big glass panel in it. I could smash that and reach in and flip the Yale lock. But: the glass has that criss-cross wire in it designed to stop burglars doing that exact thing! I would have to replace the whole door.
7. The bathroom window is open! But it is very tiny and there is a long drop.
8. Next door are in. I could ask them for help; or they would let me use their phone to call my parents. Not sure what they could do about it, though.
9. I could break the kitchen window; or the living room window. But these are sash windows and expensive to replace, I fear.
10. My bedroom window is open. I could somehow climb up to that and then open the door from the inside? But that is on the first floor, around the front of the house.
My plan of action was as follows:
a) tried to kick in the back door. No good. The door is burglar-safe, which is good to know in other situations!
b) tried to climb through the bathroom window. I was more worried that the police would arrive shortly after, called by a neighbour who didn't understand that I was trying to break into my own house. But I couldn't get my boobs through the window. True story! I would make a terrible cat burglar.
c) went to knock on next door's house. They let me in; I explained the predicament. She fetched a ladder and we discussed me climbing up the sloping bay-window roof and hauling myself in via my bedroom window.
d) She went to speak to her partner. He immediately climbed out of their bedroom window (adjacent to mine), across to mine, and vaulted in with ease. She explained that he is super into parkour and urban exploration! Then she said, "oh god, you don't mind him letting himself into your house, do you?!" I was like, "I'm just glad one of us is in there! If he wants to steal all my jewellery on the way through I consider it a small price to pay not to have to sleep in my back garden until Monday!"
e) I was in! God I was so grateful I thought I was going to cry. I am going to have to do something amazing to say thanks (obviously I said actual 'thanks' several times in person!).
What makes it all the more amazing is that I've only spoken to these people twice before. Once when we had their post; and once when they brought us a bottle of wine to apologise for their noisy party. And they just helped me, with no qualms and hardly any questions, and were totally cool and with it and they absolutely didn't have to.
So! I am in my bed. And I have a renewed regard for said interior in general. I am never going to leave it again; that way I will always be safe. Safe from myself.
Then I went to paint the masonry on the back of the house. I locked the front door as I went through because I didn't want bad people coming in while I was tucked away behind the kitchen.
Because I had to scrub the brickwork with bleachy water before I could paint it, I shut the back door to keep the cat in the house. I didn't want him drinking the water and getting sick!
I painted one windowsill and by then the bleachy water had dried. So I thought, well, Bear is miaowing to come out, so I guess it's safe to open the door for him.
Of course, the back door operates via one key lock (unlocked) and one Yale lock (locked). There is no key for the Yale lock.
I'd locked myself out.
I was annoyed! Very, very annoyed. I considered my options while I painted the remaining windowsill (I needed time to think rationally, as I make very bad snap decisions).
1. My housemates were away until Monday night. So they couldn't let me in.
2. My phone was inside so no calling them for emergency favours (one housemate has not gone far and could have come back).
3. There is a locked gate on the entry passage to the back of my little terrace houses. The key for that is on my keyring (in the house). So I can't even get onto the main street.
4. Even if I could get round to the front, my keys are in the house. Can't get in the front door either.
5. The backdoor looks frail. It has a big window in it. I might be able to kick the door sufficiently to tear the Yale out of the wood, and just replace the lock the next day.
6. The backdoor has a big glass panel in it. I could smash that and reach in and flip the Yale lock. But: the glass has that criss-cross wire in it designed to stop burglars doing that exact thing! I would have to replace the whole door.
7. The bathroom window is open! But it is very tiny and there is a long drop.
8. Next door are in. I could ask them for help; or they would let me use their phone to call my parents. Not sure what they could do about it, though.
9. I could break the kitchen window; or the living room window. But these are sash windows and expensive to replace, I fear.
10. My bedroom window is open. I could somehow climb up to that and then open the door from the inside? But that is on the first floor, around the front of the house.
My plan of action was as follows:
a) tried to kick in the back door. No good. The door is burglar-safe, which is good to know in other situations!
b) tried to climb through the bathroom window. I was more worried that the police would arrive shortly after, called by a neighbour who didn't understand that I was trying to break into my own house. But I couldn't get my boobs through the window. True story! I would make a terrible cat burglar.
c) went to knock on next door's house. They let me in; I explained the predicament. She fetched a ladder and we discussed me climbing up the sloping bay-window roof and hauling myself in via my bedroom window.
d) She went to speak to her partner. He immediately climbed out of their bedroom window (adjacent to mine), across to mine, and vaulted in with ease. She explained that he is super into parkour and urban exploration! Then she said, "oh god, you don't mind him letting himself into your house, do you?!" I was like, "I'm just glad one of us is in there! If he wants to steal all my jewellery on the way through I consider it a small price to pay not to have to sleep in my back garden until Monday!"
e) I was in! God I was so grateful I thought I was going to cry. I am going to have to do something amazing to say thanks (obviously I said actual 'thanks' several times in person!).
What makes it all the more amazing is that I've only spoken to these people twice before. Once when we had their post; and once when they brought us a bottle of wine to apologise for their noisy party. And they just helped me, with no qualms and hardly any questions, and were totally cool and with it and they absolutely didn't have to.
So! I am in my bed. And I have a renewed regard for said interior in general. I am never going to leave it again; that way I will always be safe. Safe from myself.
posted by Lucy at 12:43 am
1 say hwÆt
