I miss my blog.

My old site is down, now, so it's back to this broken piece.

I was reading a list of things that one should do, in the order one should do them, and it made me feel guilty because I hardly ever do the things I should do and always seem to validate doing the things everyone knows I shouldn't.

I'm sad at the moment because the people I moved in with have turned out to be either absent (and selfcentred when present) or miserable and unfriendly. I feel like this is perhaps my fault as I was flaky about a couple of social things when I first moved in - but I can't believe it is only me who has caused this.

One housemate who never leaves her room (except to have sex with her boyfriend in the bathroom) and one who eats nothing but toast and switches everything off at the plug as soon as he leaves any room. Surely I deserve better than this.

UPDATE

Supposed to be moving house in less than three days and I've yet to sign a contract or give anyone any money!

Also I have too much baking componentry to move house; a desperate brownie-making session must ensue tonight.

Does anyone know, are you actually allowed to store yourself at 'self store' warehouses?

The story so far...

I am bored of looking around houses now. This would be more fun if I had some money!

At the moment I am choosing between two places;

House 1) PROS: near the Arboretum, really convenient for town, two really nice housemates; CONS: may miss out on a parking permit, not the world's greatest area, house is currently really 'boy-studenty', twelve month lease.

House 2) PROS: in West Bridgeford, nice area, nice light room and big kitchen, parking garden (v important!); CONS: probs too far out of Bridgeford to walk to town, didn't meet any housemates, room is next to a wetroom which seemed to have caused a (now fixed) damp problem which could of course re-occur.

My first 'Will You Be My Flatmate' response!

Hello,

Thanks for your email and interest in my Apartment so fill out my form below and we can go from there, since i am not residing there for now,The apartment is fully Furnished and has a big storage. The kitchen is fully equipped with all necessary cooking utensils,refrigerator-freezer,four-hob and oven, microwave,dishwasher and washing machine, my computer connected with Internet access.I have the keys and document with me here in West Africa Nigeria to be precise,I and my wife had the intension of selling our property before leaving but after a while we decided to place it for rent and and had few tenants before now so the apartment is very available and ready for you to move in if you are really interested in my apartment.I am here on a missionarry work with my family and will be here for 3yrs but on Due cases i will be visiting to check on you and my apartment cause absolute maintainance of my apartment is what i am after cause its newly renovated,Very spacious and Clean,So after Normal process is taking i shall be sending you the keys and document for you to move in and should in case you need reference on my apartment you can call my Brother Tim on this number....07045712681, Also i will like you to know that the rent charges is not really the issue, hope you are okay with the price of 75Gbp per Week which is 300Gbp Per Month including all bills like hydro, heat laundry facilities, aircondition and so on, but your absolute maintenance of my apartment is most important to me, if you are really interested renting this apartment fill the application below and get back to me with the answers,Moreover as a man of God i intend to do my things with soft kindered heart.

Bedrooms 1
Bathrooms 1 full, 0 partial
Sq Footage 600
Parking 1 dedicated
Pet Policy Pets Allowed
Location.........Flat 2, 7 Redcliffe Road, Mapperley Park, Nottingham NG3 5BW


********RENT APPLICATION FORM*******
********PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL*********
Also,Pls answer these questions below:
1)Your Full Name_________________________ ____________
2)Present Address(where you reside now) & Phone ___________________
3)How old are you___________________________
4)Are you married _ _____________________________ _____
5)How many people will be living in the apartment __ _________________
6)Do you have a pet ____ __________________________ __________
7)Do you have a car _______ _______________________ ____________
8)Occupation ____________ _________________
9)What is your religion __ ____________________________ _________
10)How long are you willing to stay _______ ____________________-
11)When do you intend to move in ___
12)1 month Or 2 month deposit needed ___________________________
13)Picture of you or Occupants......--------------------

I personally will come visiting you sometime during the as our new tenant. Looking forward to hear from you with all this details so that i can have it in my filed as my new tenant and we can go on with the process.Awaiting your reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the keys to you.

Thanks And God Bless.
Paulo Materanni
+2348023917216

Me And My Wife[.bmp 42K View Download

I am moving out!

Again!

I haven't done it for so long, I've forgotten how.

I think I need to hold a belt amnesty before I can go anywhere, though . . .

Minutiae

Slug meeting - Agenda
Salt - why am it hurt so much?
Lettuce - Do we gets to find it?
Catfood - Will it make am cats to eat us?
Lucy - am she slug or panda?

Names have been changed to protect the work-shy

Vikram... swamp donkey..
Lucy... monster features
Vikram... you are man's most unpleasant person.
Lucy... you are the scourge of the earth
Vikram... you are the shit on the shoe of a tramp.
Lucy... you are a feral kitten with a missing ear
Vikram... you are a rabid dog with snot hanging out your nose.
Lucy... you are a fetid and overgrown urban swamp
Vikram... you are a rank and misused public toilet.
Lucy... your hair looks like rotting curtains
Vikram... your skin is like an overused scoring pad, with remnants of 3 week old food dripping from it.
Lucy... your breath smells like the rotting corpses of a thousand sweaty zombies

I am useless

I get one new boyfriend and my ability to type journal entries completely dissapates.

To be honest, I spend most of my free time these days watching this mashup again and again. I cannot stop. I don't even understand what Tron is.

Summer holiday (after a fashion)

28th August - 30th August: Kickin' it in Cambridge with Will. Watch RSC do their thing.
31st August: Fly out to Dublin super early. Fun packed day; hotel.
1st September: Another fun packed day; fly home super late.
2nd September: Drive up to Alton Towers. Do the rides thing! Hotel nearby, tasty meal.
3rd September: Back to Alton Towers! More rides, also Dance Dance Revolution.
4th September: Chillax at home. Prepare for Bestest Friendses Wedding.
5th September: Drive up to Leeds, don finery, cry buckets at wedding. Dance. Hotel overnight.
6th September: Hangover to beat the band; huge amount of breakfast; drive back to Nottingham. Will must get on a train or be stranded forever.

DONE!

Instant messenger FTW

We were discussing the fact that my affianced colleague Alexa spends her working day looking at the 'Mens' section of asos.com, admiring the male models walking the runway. I was worried I would appear to be a pervert if anyone glanced at my monitor.

Alexa... half of the senior leadership team walked past me looking at boys shorts
Lucy... it is a bit different when you are single, though, i think. people are obviously thinking that i have given up on snaring real-life men and have descended into the realms of 'imaginary internet boyfriend'
Alexa... maybe they thought you were looking for a pic of someone to photoshop into a pic of you and send to your family pretending it was your boyfriend
Lucy... you know what
Lucy... that is actually a good idea
Lucy... how do i persuade IT photoshop is a business necessity on my computer?
Alexa... just fill out your end user request form with the details and in 'reason code' put 'emergency lie'

I gots a green drink!

Blue vodka + apple juice = awesome.

I made a picture

Balloons; sent by a friend.

Sunglasses; received in exchange for eight strawberry jam tarts.

Conclusion: awesome day.

This weekend I

took some pics of my cat.

Haven't done this for a while!

He's still got it, though.

+1 vote for fringe trim

My cakes went down like a literal, actual storm. I am sooo pleased!

In celebration I spent twenty minutes watching and then copying this stupid kawaii hairstyle from a Youtube video meant for asian girls with much, much longer hair.

I am now everything I despise about the internet.