Open letter to Topshop

Dear Topshop,

Your clothes are amazing but far too expensive. I will still buy them, however, because they are amazing, even though they are expensive.

Please note, however, that what I will not buy is distress. There seems to have been an explosion in your button factory and it is impossible to buy an item of clothing from your current range whose main fastening is not tens of thousands of tiny, ill-fitting buttons. These buttons do not coincide with my preferred method of living (Elizabethan queen without a personal "dresser").

Therefore, please fuck off with the buttons.

Kindest regards,

Lucifer.