Happy Mother's Day!

Me: If you're going to a pub quiz tonight on Who's Who In Heanor Graveyard, or possibly What That Shop Next To Beetons Used To Be Before It Was The Chemist, I advise you to use me as your phone-a-friend

Him: I am making headway with this wine. What are the chances you can call me with a fake emergency?

Me: I can't help you. I'm busy falling asleep in conversations on all sorts of fascinating topics, including Women Who Lost Babies Fifty Years Ago, Minutae From Gran's Nursing Home, and Life And Times of Amaryllis Plants (They Don't Flower The Second Year!) x