Double viscount

The company I work for does, to put things bluntly, make money hand over fist. After a year, I'm tired of working for Big Business. However, I love my team and more importantly I love the benefits of working for said company. So I'm still there.

I get bonuses, I get extra loyalty points, I get the pick of the factory shop and the recalled lines. I also get staff discount: 12.5% on props, and 22.5% on our own-branded stuff. It's pretty good! For three days, this week, however, it is DOUBLE DISCOUNT FEVER. It's peachy keen.

So today I scrambled out of bed, looking like one of the people on the Heart FM advert, and was in Store 6 by 7am. I spent £95 and saved £127. I also bought a brand new swankified CAMERA! It is blue, which I'm not sure about, but god I have missed my cheeky Sony since dropped the previous incumbent into the silent dissolution of the sea.

Just once, I'd like to own the same camera for twelve consecutive months.

On an unreleated note: tomorrow, as you may be aware, is Hallowe'en. A quick summary of recent Hallowe'ens might be: Last year: amnesia. The year before: spent all night kissing some boy (whose name is shamefully unavailable to me now) at a houseparty. This year: going to work as Undercover Harry Potter. It combines my current twin obsessions, spies and the Boy Wizard.

Things are awesome.

smitten (but not stupid)

I've been dreaming a lot recently. Last night, I broke someone's heart and then had an awful, awkward goodbye because I was busy clearing my shoes out of his house. The night before that, I fought a battle! This just goes to show that dreams are a waste of time because I would never really do either of those things. I don't care about shoes.



More importantly:

God I am going to make the most AWESOME wife.

CAKE GLORIOUS CAKE

t minus one day to CUPCAKE FOREST

Anyone who remembers GINGERBREAD ARMY from last year (pictures temporarily defunct) should cower in fear.

It's my dad's birthday, I'm destitute, he does't need anything. So I am making him a dozen of the bestest muffins in our tiny, kitten-filled kitchen and by jove it's going to be fabulous.

Why I can't play videogames

Thoughts on the coming season

It is a widely known fact that I am a girl of very little will-power. When confronted with "Hey, X is doing Y, do you want to come along?", where X is someone I don't like and Y is something illegal, nine times out of ten I will say yes.

It's not that I don't have one of those inner movie monologues telling me whether something is good idea or not; I do, and it's always right. I just choose to ignore it. I think I used all my 'sensible' up as a child.

Hence, as my IBM diary/calender/meeting-scheduler-thing fills up with bar crawls masquerading as work and social engagements to celebrate the baby Jesus and poinsettias, I am getting itchy feet.

Christmas is the best time for mischief.

Saturday night

is movie night, because movies are free.

I'd love to say that being poor has made me creative in terms of finding fun things to do. You know, walking in the park, making faces at babies, playing board games, riding for miles in the countryside and eating seasonal berries, spending hours in bed measuring our square footage in actual feet.

Not so.

Today, I spent some time photoshopping Emma's otherworldly redeye out of my holiday photos. I've done 150 pictures out of about 1000, and have now hit a wall because my computer is from the stone age (2004) and we've been through a lot together, but the experiences which have made me better, stronger and faster have made him cracked, lethargic and wretched. I'm crossing my fingers that a good night's sleep will perk him up.

I have been more productive, though. Item One: I have put up the pictures Eric bought me for Christmas 2006. See illustration. They are KICK ASS and without doubt the best thing I've ever ever received. Item two: is nothing I've produced, but I found these awesome maps online and am planning to go and visit them in London just as soon as I can. I wanted everyone to know about them! Maps are amazing.

Time for a calming drink, and then a terrifying film.

Previously . . . .

1) Had an argument with someone who is supposed to care about me a great deal. The argument was my fault.

2) Film crew in my office, still unsure what they were doing, just know that it interrupted my Facebook time.

3) Just ate a lot of bread, feeling rather sick.

4) Organised my social calendar around payday

5) Went to Asda to buy catfood Snickers stamps. Came back with bread party dip biscuits.


I'm so poor at the moment. I make my own lunch rather than spend £2.32 on a Boots meal deal; I turn down social occasions because the prospect of wasting £4 on a single glass of wine makes me want to cry. I'm rationing my petrol. Once that runs out, I'm going to have to walk the six mile round-trip to work. I've cut back on the amount of money I spend on food but now I've run out of things to economise on. Even paupers have to eat something, especially when they have to walk six miles in the dark whilst carrying their handmade lunch and crying because all their friends have stopped inviting them to things.

I don't mind being poor for a few months, because it throws into sharp relief how capitalistic I can be and also how ill-prepared I am for life. Today whilst dodging work I made this list of things which I suddenly want and cannot ever own:

!) Sexy and warm winter coat, such as I do not currently own: a cape, or maybe an impractically-sleeved trench coat?

") GHDs because I guess now I straighten my hair?

£) This t shirt because awwww.

$) Kick-ass camera. I want an enormous dSLR with interchangable lenses, but also a tiny tiny point-and-shoot for the nights out I can't afford.

At this point I stopped listing because I realised I didn't have enough spare paper to fully explore the limits of my greed.

Time passes

My real website is in hiatus at the moment (unpaid dues) so I am making-do-and-mending while I raise enough funds to buy myself a cup of coffee, never mind the extortionate amount of webspace needed to store my large numbers of 'photos of things I am about to eat' and other sundries.

It's been a while, and I've missed my journal. I've been away. Literally, this time. A brief summary of my many adventures is available on TravBuddy. It's a no-holds-barred expose of sticky rice and saltwater damage. At some point in the near future, it might even have pictures.

So, a whistlestop tour of things which have happened since my return:

1. Destitution.
2. Involved in a high-speed road traffic accident, which doesn't stop me driving like a rally god but has given me nightmares.
3. Given a project to do at work which takes up all my time and which I hate already and which won't be finished until Christmas. Expect to hear more about this.
4. Involved in diplomatic incident with two different insurance firms regarding electrical items irreparably damaged on my Trip of a Lifetime.
5. Taken up jogging, which in my opinion is the best way totravel around Hyson Green.
6. Said hello and goodbye to the annual Goose Fair. Didn't win anything :(
7. Become 'feisty' during the working day. It's unclear if this is a return to form, or a new development.
8. Renewed yearning for a hot new boy to be added to said working day.
9. 45 minutes of paid holiday left to take during this financial year.
10. Learning to speak French!

At any time, these things might get their own entry - it all depends on whether anything interesting happens in the meantime!

I've got about 1,000 photos to add to Flickr, just as soon as I've finished photoshopping them out of hideousness.

What the hell have you been up to?!