This sort of thing

is why I can never be without a cameraphone.

Sometime between me parking my car at work and me driving that car home tonight, someone wrote SEXY DRIVER! in the dirt on the back of my car.

For those who have just tuned in, a couple of months ago someone also wrote 'cunt' backwards in my rear windscreen. Is this the same person? Two separate, unrelated incidents? No one has EVER written on my car before, and now two in two months.

And in what way am I a 'sexy driver'? Is it my driving method which is sexual? Or am I a sexy person who drives? Does the person who wrote it know me (in which case why not just write 'sexy lady'); or are they a stranger who picked a car at random? Or is it someone who followed me into the carpark and decided to write a sarcastic missive on my driving style?

I fear I may never know.

But I haven't got a pic to put in here because I cannot sync my motherlicking BlackBeret with my chuffing computer. I need to hire an assistant.