SIMULTANEOUSLY BEST AND WORST DAY EVER

WORST THINGS FIRST:

Yesterday I made a decision about how to do a manual workaround for an aspect of my job which doesn't work. As far as I knew there was no set process; but what I did made sense and has in fact been done before.

Somone with FUCK ALL involvement in my project caught wind of it via an innocent third party and came storming down the office all guns blazing and proceeded to chew me out in front of my team, my assistant, my category contacts and the third party, who I barely know. He shouted at me for a good twenty-five minutes. The upshot of it all was; a) there is a process, an incredibly complicated and secret one I've never heard of; b) I am an incompetant retard; c) I've been deliberately and maliciously misinforming colleagues with, I can only assume, the desire to cause the downfall of the company that provides the means by which I live.

Two meetings later, this nightmare emailed me and TWENTY other people - half of whom I don't even work now, but will be doing on future projects - telling them all what a huge fuckup I'd made, how he'd fixed it for me, and how what I had achieved was a sackable offence. Sackable offence. Them's fighting words! It's lucky I'm a battle-scarred, emotionally distant tough type because someone of lesser moral fibre might have dissolved into a nervous wreck after an onslaught which basically lasted all afternoon.

Needless to say, I shall be discussing this further with my line manager on her return (at which point I will clear my desk).

BEST THINGS IN THE WORLD:

A guy I sort-of know at work has sold me his bitchin' BLACKBERRY at supercheap knockdown price and option for favours (non-sexual)! I did want an iPhone, but I did a survey of the number of picture messages I take in a week and their humour-factor relative to that of my text messages; and I concluded I cannot live without the option to send pictures of the cat in funny poses to my housemates whenever I damn well please. Whoop de whoop!

ABSOLUTE TOTAL BEST THING THAT I THINK HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME:

My brother wins THE GAME for inexplicably giving me this amazing wonderful gift of life. For those without eyes, it is a voucher for ONE METRIC TON of money to spend in a jewellery shop and above all things, I love jewellery! Lord above I nearly had a stroke when I clapped my beady eyes on this and there was such a shriek the cat shed all his fur in horror.

Thank you, god, for providing me with a brother who has more money than sense. Although god knows I deserve it after all I've put up with.