Resolved on two points

Zoe and I have joined a gym. I've never been to a gym before and I find it to be a great source of entertainment. It does however prove that we are never to be allowed out in public together again.

We went for an induction two weeks ago and spent the whole time making sarcastic under-the-breath comments on everything from the instructor to the machines to our fellow gym-goers. If I had gone by myself I would have listened attentively and then done half an hour's worth of work-out.

As it happened, we soiled ourselves laughing at the many ways in which we could potentially fatally injure ourselves on the weighted machines and then spent fifteen minutes challening each other to the highest speed and incline-setting on the treadmills to see who would collapse and die first.

Luckily neither of us is horrendously obese, so the fact that we're not actually following our exercise plans isn't a matter of life or death. If I can just get rid of my flabby shoulders, I'll be a happy girl.