I am going to make someone such a good wife one of these days

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin!

(For the record, anything in brackets are my additions to the generic recipe. Also, I work in Imperial when I cook. Sorry! I know it is un-PC but it is just easier.)

You will need:
Cookies:

- 4oz butter

- 2oz soft dark brown sugar
- 4oz golden syrup
- 1 egg, lightly beaten
- 8oz plain flour
- 1.25oz self-raising flour
- 1 tbsp ground ginger
- 1 tsp bicarb of soda
- (1 tbsp ground cinnamon)
- (100g mixed peel)
- (1 bag Smarties)
Icing:
- 1 egg white
- 0.5 tsp lemon juice
- 4oz sifted icing sugar
- (1 box 'Writing Icing')

1) Using electric beaters, beat the sugar, butter and golden syrup together. (A whisk + old-fashioned wrists are just as good.) Add the egg gradually, beating well after each addition (or just tip the whole lot in by accident, it does not seem to make much difference - come up with something like this:



2) Sift the flours, ginger and bicarbonate of soda onto the butter mixture and use a knife to mix until just combined. (I added candied mixed peel and a heap of cinnamon at this point, as these are the best bits).

Use a well-floured hand to combine the dough thoroughly, then turn onto a floured surface and knead for 1-2 minutes, or until smooth.

(At this point, if you have followed the quantities above, you will have a disgusting sticky mess which you cannot touch because you are afraid it will suck your entire being in. Assume that the recipe is wrong, rather than that you suck at baking, and just keep adding and mixing flour until you have something that actually resembles dough and then turn the bowl upside down. Expect to use basically a whole sackful of flour.)

3) Line a large board with baking paper. Roll out the dough on the board to 5mm thickness. (Flour the rolling pin. Flour your hands. Flour the floor if necessary. This dough will stick to everything.) Put the dough on the board into the fridge for 15 minutes.



3a) TURN ON THE OVEN! 180*C/Gas 4.

4) Cut out the dough with people-shaped biscuit cutters (or whatever you like!). Press any remaining dough together, then re-roll and cut out again. Put on greased baking trays and bake for 10 minutes, or until lightly browned. Cool the biscuits on trays, and then ice.



5) SUCCESS! Gingerbread Army!




















(This guy is my favourite! He was supposed to be an indie kid - comb-over, badly-fitting black trousers, bleeding heart - but looks more like Emo Hitler. He is so angry with that star!)