there's no such thing as a british accent

In Bridget Jones's Diary there's a passage where ol' Bridg is talking about her only well-adjusted friend, and speculating that the reason she is so well-adjusted is that she'd never read a self-help book in her life.

Well, I've never read a self-help book either, but Zoe and I have both been on our dating site for a month now and things are worse than ever.

I don't think I'm ugly. I don't think I'm beautiful either and I'm a terrible girlfriend but my face and hiliarious profile are the only things potential suitors have to go on and both are alright from some angles. So why, aside from maybe three or four acceptable candidates - only one of which I have any interest in whatsoever - are my days filled with the distressing viewing and time-consuming deleting of fellows like the one to your right?! It leads me to the conclusion that there are too many men in the world, all the good ones have picked their beautiful women and dragged them off to their lair, and that what is left is some pretty girls and hundreds and hundreds of inbred hairy monsters.

I'm a terrible girlfriend because I'm unbelievably independent. Most people think I'm being positive when I say this but, in reality, who wants a girlfriend who doesn't rely on them for anything, including emotional support?!

Moral of the story: going out with Zoe tonight, if we don't meet anyone worth our time I might suggest hardcore lesbianism. Are you allowed to be gay if you've got long hair?