Thank you, Gordon Brown!

I am quite giddy with excitement.

I never complain about tax. I think that free healthcare, education and a police force who seem to get things right most of the time are worth a few hundred quid a year, and I would gladly pay more tax if it meant that nurses were paid more, every citizen had access to an x-ray machine, and that no child would ever again have to share a dissecting-frog with Pongo from the Lower Fourth.

But! When we studied the numbers in Mr Brown's Budget (i.e. played on the BBC's budget game), I discovered that this year I will actually be £3.89 better off! Everyone wins!

I have spent quite some time planning what to spend it on. Maybe it is time to get married, have a family. I will pay off my student debts and throw a lavish turn-of-the-century party in my brand-new mansion. You are all invited! A magnum of champagne for each of my very best friends, and two to the man who invented the corkscrew. I will domesticate a snow leopard cub and drink only fresh apple juice from martini glasses which have been carved out of glacial ice, harvested from remote Norwegian fjords by a team of trained unicorns.

Thank you, Gordon Brown, for making my simple dreams possible.