I am embracing my inner alcoholic this Christmas.
Come close enough and I'll probably embrace yours, too.The booze has gotten me into a veritable landslide of trouble recently and so I have sworn off it until the festive season, at which point I want our reunion to be the most magical thing.
To create this magic, I have recruited Vlad here. He doesn't know it yet, but he is going to become the tastiest schnapps. But, as usual, I am racked with indecision and can't decide what to infuse him with. Cranberries? Cake? A torque wrench? I can't be trusted with these kinds of decisions. I want to be special, not a fatal mistake.
posted by Lucy at 7:55 pm
9 Comments:
Jelly
Oh YES
with cream
or baileys
"The booze has gotten me into a veritable landslide of trouble recently"
Divulge.
Goddamnit, divulge woman!
Oh, you know how it is! When faced with a large square footage of people who haven't heard my jokes, and the chance to mix some of these people with hard liquor, I get a bit carried away. Maybe we socialise a bit. Maybe I am a bit indiscreet in my choice of anecdotes. Maybe some of the people in the bar are my bosses, only I have never met them yet, and had not intended to be doing an impression of a lecherous French-Armenian cook when I did.
These are hypothetical situations, of course! Maybe I am extremely tame and am just having a secret stationary-cupboard affair with the buyer from Fragrance! I guess you will never know! That is what LiveJournal is for!
Eau de Cologne is nearly 100% proof.
Pretty potent stuff alright.
What do you want for Christmas
Has to be
cheap
easy to find
legal
small
not alive
A friend of mine once told me that he uses public transport in much the same way that a lesbian couple uses a dildo: “it’s the best thing available under the circumstances, but it’s hardly something to be proud about”. Good point well made. Buses are hardly alluring places. And late buses are positively repulsive.
Found that insanely amiusing
Your allegory does not map correctly. Please advise.
Also, Eric: I am not sure what your budget is. But some things which I think are nice is:
1) Something an awful lot like this, or something similar.
2) Maybe an album? Maybe this one, which I won't buy for myself because of my indie snobbery but which contains at least three songs which make my little day when they come on the radio?
3) Maybe some books? Any books will do but especially novels about Victorians. It has to be real books though, I'm not capable of choosing my own. I spend hours and hours in Waterstones muttering and handling the merchandise and then come away empty-handed because I have talked myself out of all of them.
4) A big huge colourful pashmina-scarf thing. Laura might need to help with this one. T K Maxx have got loads which I like to drool over (so I don't recommend you buy it from Nottingham).
5) Some classy perfume? I like this one which I got from work, but I am now reliably informed that this is for boys. So who knows!
Alternative: don't get me anything!
Coffee cups. One of the 2 times in a year that I buy you somwthing and it's coffee cups?
Hmmm would buy the album, but they are crap and I would feel, well, embarrassed - like buying vaseline and a cucumber in the same transaction, or a book on how to burn jews whilst on holiday in Israel. Just, y'know, embarrassed
Have actually already bought you a book. But it's really good [lots of pictures] so I might keep it for myself. Or photocopy it and return it to Waterstones
Pashina scarf? Could nick one off of a rah in Durham. Would be an excuse for some raucous Xmas violence
That is indeed a boys purfume. But a nice one. If you don't want it I'll have it.
Have already exhausted option 6. Bugger
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