How am I supposed to know if this is a Leap year?

You guys, tomorrow is February!

February is the shortest month. It is the month in which I become twenty-one, which is older than I have ever been before.

Turning twenty-one is significant because it marks my eleventh year as a vegematarian which statistically suggests I have been a non-meat-eater for longer than I have been a meat-eater.

In order to celebrate this momentous occasion, I am making plans to hunt and kill a wild wildebeest with my bare hands and then roast its carcass over an open fire while playing a banjo and gazing across the plains at sunset.

I mean.

Uh.

I mean, I am dabbling with veganism. In a furtive, non-committal, not-in-front-of-the-vicar sort of way. I am aiming to be the first under-the-radar vegan. I have been put off in the past because vegans are a group of self-obsessed obnoxious dogmatic lunatics but it is ok now because I am accepting that I am probably three out of these four things already.

I have no desire to be that mad lady who cannot eat a nice meal in a restaurant however, so I reserve the right to discreetly abandon the sisterhood if it is interfering with my life.

(Wine is not made out of animals, right?)